We are essentially nomadic due to my husband’s job. We live in an RV and have to move anywhere from every few days to every few months, and this is not going to change for at least another 3 years. However, I just found out I’m pregnant. So now it’ll be myself, my husband, AND an infant. It won’t be as big a deal at the very beginning, but when he/she gets big enough to need social interaction we’ll have to be pretty intentional about finding opportunities to play with other toddlers, plus the logistics of living full time in an RV park with a small child. Any suggestions and tips on how to make this work?
(Please do not suggest my husband get another job, this is a well paying career with excellent benefits, including health insurance, and the benefit of sticking with it for the long run greatly outweighs any temporary inconveniences.)
When he/she is little I'll probably wear her most of the time in a sling or mei tai carrier, strollers take up too much space.
I think we have the birth thing figured out. We pretty much travel throughout just one (huge) state so I'll pick a midwife in a central location and travel there for appointments, then get a furnished apartment near the birth center for the month before and month after my due date.
Gee, thanks for your support "ya ya."
No, finding another job is not an option because this is a necessary step in his career, not just a job. And no, raising my child without daddy around is not going to be the best thing for anyone. If you aren't going to offer positive suggestions, I don't need your input. We aren't the first people in the world to live like this and it's not impossible.
We will not still be doing this by the time our baby is Kindergarten age.
My son is more “socialized” then most kids his age (he’s 2.5 years) -that’s not just my opinion I get that from a lot of toddlers. He always says hello, and goodbye. He wants to play with other kids not beside them. He will talk to anyone -child or adult.
Its a myth that socialization only happens between kids of the same age, in fact that is the worst form of socialization unless its very closely supervised. Kids can be cruel, also kids of the same age have the same behavioural problems and the same things to be learned. Socialization is learned the same way anything else is -by watching their elders and particularly adults.
So get out with your son as much as possible -malls, coffee klatches, church, whatever. And as he gets older there are parks and indoor playgrounds -he will meet lots of kids. It doesn’t have to be the same kids every day.
The cultural myth of socialization
http://web.archive.org/web/20060614014616/http://atypicalhomeschool.net/general-information/the-cultural-myth-of-socialization/
The Myth of Socialization
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1055892/posts
PS Your prenatal care is none of my business, you didn’t even ask about that. But since others have decided you need to tell them about it can I recommend:
Empowered Childbirth
http://empoweredchildbirth.com/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/empoweredchildbirth/ (ugh its back in age-restriction again, I swear its just a normal pregnancy and birth group -well ok maybe not “normal” as its anti-useless intervention)
Emergency Childbirth: A Manual
http://www.amazon.ca/Emergency-Childbirth-Gregory-J-White/dp/0934426015/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220641327&sr=8-2
No matter who you are EVERY woman should know how to birth their own baby -things happen.
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December 28, 2008 at 10:34 pm
once your baby can interact with other children or you notice a need for socializing find playgroups and drop in centres everywhere you go. they have really helped my son and me. usually moms at these things are open and kind and will probably welcome the two of you easily!
as for life in the RV park… get a storage section in your RV dedicated to outdoor play storage and make sure you babyproof the RV really well, having a play section inside will be very important aswell, for rainy days if not more often. i tend to think of RV parks as full of seniors… but try to find one that has a play ground or a pool and make sure you guys get to have lots of fun
a good stroller and an infant backpack will serve you well for a few years too
good luck
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December 28, 2008 at 10:52 pm
This is the opposite of my life, but I think it sounds exciting! What an opportunity for you to be able to expose your child to new people and places!
What you really need to do is make a routine and stick with it — infants, toddlers, children, they need routine and consistency. So no matter where you are, they need to know that meal times, nap times and bedtime (and the bedtime routine), etc. are always the same. It’s comforting for them to know what’s coming next, and to have some predictability. That’s not to say you can’t ever stray from a routine, of course you can. Life happens, and we can’t always be home at 2 for a nap or whatever. But whenever possible, be sure to have it in place.
Other than that, good luck to you!
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mother of a 14 month old -
December 28, 2008 at 11:37 pm
I would be more concerned about finding the right midwife/OB while on the road and being able to see them when you need to. The last thing you want is some random clinician at each appointment.
Then giving birth in a strange hospital with a stranger.
Yikes. I couldn't do it.EDIT:
Sounds like you have it all worked out. Forget what anyone has to say, it's your life and if Mom and Dad are happy, baby will be too.
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December 29, 2008 at 12:12 am
your child will need stability and living on the road in an RV and uprooting them at a moment's notice will only damage them. You can do one of two things: first your husband can find a job with the same benefits as this one but one that doesn't require you to live like nomads OR you and the baby can find a nice place to live while your hubby works. But even that won't be good for the child to be without their father but you have to think about those two things and go with the lessor of two evils. All in all, you really should have waited to have a baby until that three year contract (i am assuming here since you stated it wouldn't change for another three years) was up IMO. Good Luck though, you are going to need it.
EDIT** sorry you don't like my answer hun but it is what it is and you will get all kinds of answers on here… good, bad or indifferent.
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December 29, 2008 at 12:43 am
I would think that playing at parks, or even with kids in a fast food restaurant should be enough interaction. Kids are really more self-focused until they’re around 2 or 3. Even when they’re around other kids, they usually play by themselves. I’d worry about school, but that’s still far away. Maybe having another baby after this one is an option for you, and they can play with each other. This may help: http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/development/devsequence.shtml
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December 29, 2008 at 01:28 am
Living on the road how you do it (in an RV) will be quite doable until the baby is old enough for school. Even though you’ll be moving around alot the RV will be the same so the baby’s surroundings won’t really change much as far as he’s concerned. Once he gets older and has to go to school and starts making friends you may have to reconsider the lifestyle, but for now I’m sure you’ll do fine. Especially since you’re already used to living on the road.
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December 29, 2008 at 02:07 am
My husband and I travelled for quite a few years around the world, working. When we first started out and were committed to a few different things, we had a pregnancy 'scare' (at the time, yes, it was scary!). My sister said something to me that really stuck — she said "Babies only know what you give them, and they are very adaptable, and will learn to go with the flow. Strap him in a carrier and take him with you - what do you think people who aren't lucky enough to live in the developed world do?"
It always stuck with me, as now, many years later, we've just had our first child and are debating moving in a few months to another random country for my husband's job.
Your child will need social interaction, but I'm sure there are other kids coming and going at the RV parks where you stay - at a young age he will be adaptable to new friends - and in the various towns you are in, or near, there may be community centres with drop-ins or baby / toddler groups that you can just do for the time you are there. Even larger hotels that may have tourists (not sure what state you are in) sometimes have play groups for the kids while parents do some sightseeing. If you start being creative and looking into places he/she can play you'll find toddler-based activities.
I think it's great that at a young age your child will be learning flexibility and adaptability and gaining the appreciation for adventure, and learning to make the most of things. Well done for you both for not letting the job stop you from starting a family and for not letting a family stop your husband from a job!
P.S. Where I am (England) you have many different midwives throughout your pregnancy. Quite often you can see a different midwife at each different appointment throughout your pregnancy, and you definitely DO NOT have any of them in hospital with you when you deliver, so you've never met the delivery room staff before. And, unless you are lucky enough to start labour and end it within the same 8 hour shift, you can have many different ones in delivery with you. And as much as I thought all of that was pretty crap at first, once you get used to it, it's actually not bad at all ! So, if you can't get consistent care from one midwife, just go with the flow as far as that goes too, it's not as bad as you might expect!
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December 29, 2008 at 02:54 am
My son is more “socialized” then most kids his age (he’s 2.5 years) -that’s not just my opinion I get that from a lot of toddlers. He always says hello, and goodbye. He wants to play with other kids not beside them. He will talk to anyone -child or adult.
Its a myth that socialization only happens between kids of the same age, in fact that is the worst form of socialization unless its very closely supervised. Kids can be cruel, also kids of the same age have the same behavioural problems and the same things to be learned. Socialization is learned the same way anything else is -by watching their elders and particularly adults.
So get out with your son as much as possible -malls, coffee klatches, church, whatever. And as he gets older there are parks and indoor playgrounds -he will meet lots of kids. It doesn’t have to be the same kids every day.
The cultural myth of socialization
http://web.archive.org/web/20060614014616/http://atypicalhomeschool.net/general-information/the-cultural-myth-of-socialization/The Myth of Socialization
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1055892/postsPS Your prenatal care is none of my business, you didn’t even ask about that. But since others have decided you need to tell them about it can I recommend:
Empowered Childbirth
http://empoweredchildbirth.com/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/empoweredchildbirth/ (ugh its back in age-restriction again, I swear its just a normal pregnancy and birth group -well ok maybe not “normal” as its anti-useless intervention)Emergency Childbirth: A Manual
http://www.amazon.ca/Emergency-Childbirth-Gregory-J-White/dp/0934426015/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220641327&sr=8-2No matter who you are EVERY woman should know how to birth their own baby -things happen.
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(note I say he for your baby as its easier) -
December 29, 2008 at 03:04 am
hope you do have your baby settled by the time he starts school .. because living on the road at that age is no life for a child.
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